Random old guy: I've been pregnant for 12 months.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
Random old guy: I've been pregnant for 12 months.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
Posh old lady: Well, everyone else said that daddy shot himself, but I still contend that he fell on his gun when he was cleaning it…
Tube, London
England
Overheard by: Wendy Stephens
60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying “Easter”?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying “ass”! For saying “ass” on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?
Grandma's house
Illinois
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.
McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia
50-something gentleman: Honey, the last time I ran was from a drag queen prostitute, and that was ten years ago. I don't run.
Valencia Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McN
Slightly crazy lady to older man sitting nearby: Hey! You look like my uncle Smitty! Are you kin to me?
Old man, startled: Um, no, I don't think so.
Lady: Well, you never know. I did that genealogy thing and it turns out that I am kin to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and half the men that died at The Alamo.
Dan's Hamburgers
Austin, Texas
Policeman opening doors of Social Security office: Before I let you in, does anyone have any weapons?
Tiny old lady jumping the queue: Just my fist!
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Old woman to granddaughter: I saw her the other day, and all the fat from her face has slipped down to her boobs.
Piccadilly Circus
London
England
Overheard by: lola
Old lady to friend: I’ve been praying for the strength to be friendly with Nicole*, but she makes it so difficult! Goddamit, I am going to heaven, so either she has to shape up soon or I have to try not to die!
San Jose, California
