Old folks

Older male professor, addressing a large lecture hall with only girls: So you see, in my body you will find lots of regular cells, and also you will find cells that are in the process of meiosis; and those are my sperm cells.
Barnard girl: That is so awkward.

Barnard College
New York

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Older man in baggy clothes, waiting in line: You're a Kung Fu master.
College girl (amused): How'd you know?
Older nan: I sensed your Chi.

Burger King
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Emily

Drunk old guy (supported by another): 61 years of celibacy!

Pirate's Alley
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Sara

Older man to wife, moving luggage into hotel room: Really, honey? You want to complain about that? You actually want to go to the front desk and tell them that your room is too nice?

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: I'm not complainin'

Older woman to middle aged man walking a dog: Is that how all dogs walk?
Middle aged man: That's how *this* dog walks.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/362494228/other-dogs-walk-like-that.html

Overheard by: have you never seen a dog walk before?

Random old guy: I've been pregnant for 12 months.

Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Russ

Posh old lady: Well, everyone else said that daddy shot himself, but I still contend that he fell on his gun when he was cleaning it…

Tube, London
England

Overheard by: Wendy Stephens

60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying “Easter”?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying “ass”! For saying “ass” on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?

Grandma's house
Illinois

Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.

McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia