But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma

Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don’t worry, girl, I am listening to yo’ hideous self!

Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: kerblammerz

Posted on July 23, 2015
Default, Employees, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Kansas, Money, On the phone, Stores

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

Like Putting Mayo on French Fries

Jock on cell: I bet he’s a lame fuck. He wouldn’t do any of that weird stuff you like.

Barton Springs Pool
Austin, Texas

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Insults, Jocks, Kink, On the phone, Texas

Ah, the Terrible Twos.

Woman on cell, in deadpan voice: Now's not a good time to talk to him about it. (pause) He's got a chainsaw. I really wouldn't talk to him about it right now.

Bus
Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on July 20, 2015
Bus, Fears, Massachusetts, On the phone, Violence, Women

Even If You Do Look Adorable in Communist Colors

Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff…

University of Central Florida

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on July 16, 2015
Advice, Florida, Guys, On the phone, Politics, Pride

A Big Rock or a Little Rock?

Girl on cell: I love you. I do. I love you more than weed. Do you believe me? You know how much I love weed, right? Well, I love you more… If you had the choice between me and a rock, what would you choose? Me, I love you more than weed. I really do.

Overheard by: miss_jaffacake@lj

Posted on July 15, 2015
Drugs, On the phone, Relationships

The Last Temptation of Christie

Chick on cell: Christie! Christie! You better not smoke all of your cigarettes today! [Snaps phone shut.]

http://ohinmpls.blogspot.com/2006/10/mullet-lady-on-18-screaming-into-her.html

Overheard by: amy

Posted on July 14, 2015
On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Smoking

Last Time I Use Flammable Lube

Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?

Subway
New York City, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Backdoor, Default, Guys, New York, On the phone, Penis, Questions, Smoking, Train, Weirdness

I'm Way Too Shallow to Date a Bald Guy.

Young woman on cell: Who is this? (pause) He is my baby, not my boyfriend! I told you that. (short pause) What's wrong with you?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/343960110/that-probably-cant-be-summed-up-in-a-phone-call.html

Overheard by: yikes!

Posted on July 3, 2015
Family ties, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Relationships, Women

Usually They Just Ask Us to Keep the Blood Splatter to a Minimum

Lady on cell pumping gas): Y'know, even when he picked up the knife, I just didn't expect the cops to get involved…

Shell Gas Station
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Just filling my tank, thanks

Posted on June 27, 2015
Crimes, Default, Georgia, On the phone, Stores, Violence, Women

On the phone