Middle aged woman: What is this?
Middle aged man: Oh. That's just a paper where Jesus explains the universe.
Middle aged woman: Do you need it?
Middle aged man: Yeah.
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: that one chick
Middle aged woman: What is this?
Middle aged man: Oh. That's just a paper where Jesus explains the universe.
Middle aged woman: Do you need it?
Middle aged man: Yeah.
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: that one chick
Husband trying on sandals: There's too much bullshit. What is all this bullshit on here?
Wife: I don't know…there's a lot of stuff.
Husband: It's too much bullshit. I'm not paying for all this bullshit.
Leesburg Corner Outlet Mall
Leesburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Nat
Loud man on cell: Yeah, 800,000 dollars. But let's just keep this between ourselves, okay?
Packed Commuter Train
Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: M@
Asian chick: I'm going to meet my old boss at that Thai restaurant. You know, the one with the woman that feels me up.
Asian dude: Oh, yeah. Aren't all Thai women bisexual?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Shringle
Nurse #1 (during break): I hope you don't mind, I took one of your cigarettes from your purse because I was really craving one.
Nurse #2: it's no problem. (pause) Wait. Was it my last one?
Nurse #1: Yeah…is that a problem?
Nurse #2 (furious): Are you fucking kidding me?!
Nurse #1: Yeah, yeah, relax! I was just kidding. There's two more in there.
Nurse #2: Oh my god. Don't joke about things like that.
Nurse #1 (nervously): Hahaha. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't scared for my life just now.
Nurse #2 (seriously): And I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't thinking of places to hide your body.
Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York
Overheard by: molly guns
Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.
Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana
Girl #1, after hearing embarrassing story: Yeah, that reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Vatican for being a whore.
Girl #2: Seriously? Kicked out?
Girl #1: It was my dad's fault, though. He told me I could wear my short skirt.
Thai Restaurant
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Student: Would it be possible for the situation to be reversed?
Professor: Well… (talks in circles for 5 minutes) So I will say yes, but the answer is no.
Graduate Classroom
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman #1: It's raining, didn't you pray for no rain this morning in church?
Woman #2: No, we just shook hands and congratulated ourselves on our own self-righteousness.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Amy
