Questions

Underage drunk girl in bathroom to another: Do you need me to wipe?

Varsity Theatre
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Little girl walking behind mom: Mom, did you hit me in the head with your phone!
Mom: No, I didn't, I don't even have my phone out! (looks down at hand) Oh, yes I do. Did it hurt?

Eskimo Joe's
Stillwater, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Cameron

Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.

Japan

Asian chick: I don't even like pecan pie. Do you?
White chick: I love it!
(long pause)
Asian chick: Why are we friends?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Virginia

Girl: Ohhh, can I show you my sexual frustration?

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Bimbette shouting from crowd: Why does everyone want me to eat shit out of their mouths today?

Michigan Tech
Houghton, Michigan

Police officer: So that's when they started pulling baseball bats out of their pants?
Guy: Yeah, baseball bats and machetes!

Tysons Corner
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: Jack

Girl on cell: Are you tryin' to say it's my fault she kept thinking she was pregnant every Thursday?

Berkeley, California

Party host to guest: Watch out for the skunk in the bathroom.
Guest: What?
Party host: Seriously.

Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234

Slightly crazy lady to older man sitting nearby: Hey! You look like my uncle Smitty! Are you kin to me?
Old man, startled: Um, no, I don't think so.
Lady: Well, you never know. I did that genealogy thing and it turns out that I am kin to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and half the men that died at The Alamo.

Dan's Hamburgers
Austin, Texas