Questions

Teacher, about Thoreau: Who's heard about the cone of silence?
Kid: I know about the cone of shame!

Concord Museum
Concord, Massachusetts

Professor: What would you guys do if I told you that a giant fish was going to eat you on your way home?
Girl: Hide?
Professor: No! You'd all go out and have sex! I mean besides sleeping, eating, and having sex, what else do you need to do? You're just taking this class so later in life you can sleep in a better place, eat better food, and have sex with someone hotter!

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michgan

Overheard by: Kelli

Girl #1, in stall: Have you ever had sex?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Oh. Does your classroom smell?

Delaware County Community College
Pennsylvania

Girl: She has vagina legs.
Guy friend: How does she have vagina legs?

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Professor: Okay, let's review. What's it called when you put geological events in sequential order?
Basketball star #1: Calligraphy!
Basketball star #2: Naw dude, that's writing.
Basketball star #1: Oh yeah…that's what the Egyptians did, huh?
Basketball star #2: Naw, that's hieroglyphics, man.
Professor: The answer is “stratigraphy.” Let's move on quickly.

Geology 101
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: YeahKey

History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class, as one: Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.

CU
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: They know their history, alright

Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I'm kind of glad Jeff* can't come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn't you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff's brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.

University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

Girl discussing Edgar Allan Poe's The Oval Portrait: It's just that it seems like he went through and for each word looked in the dictionary for the longest synonym. Or, well, did he use those words back then?

Baltimore School for the Arts
Baltimore, Maryland

20-something girl on phone: Wait, he gave you a bite of his burrito and you're questioning his feelings for you? (pause) Girl, he practically proposed right there!

University of Missouri

Overheard by: Black Bean

Student to college secretary: Have any peppermints?
Receptionist: As in candy?
Student: Yeah. Peppermints.
Receptionist: Um, no?
Student: What kind of a dumb-ass school doesn't have peppermints?!?

University for Women
Mississippi

Overheard by: Megan S.