Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: CJ
Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: CJ
Loud 20-something girl on cell: What do you mean you made out with my uncle?!
Spokane, Washington
Quiet guy, interrupting conversation: Um, Ben, did you ever listen to Van Halen while you were at school?
Ben: Uh, no.
Quiet guy: Yeah, neither did I.
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: Bemused
Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.
High School
North Carolina
Girl #1: She’s pregnant? I thought she was on birth control?
Girl #2: She still is.
Girl #1: Isn’t that bad for the baby?
Girl #2: Not really, all that will happen is if it’s a boy, it will start looking more like a girl…
Girl #1: That’s messed up.
Bathroom Stall, Nutty Irishman Bar
Farmingdale, New York
Overheard by: Jennifer
Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!
Gent Jazz festival
Belgium
Sociology professor: Did you ever listen to something the first time and like it, and then later on you change your mind? Like a song you listen to for the second time says “fuck all bitches” and you decide you don't like it after that?
Long Island University
New York
Overheard by: Ashley M.
Voice over intercom: So, come out and buy some juice and support a good cause.
Girl #1: Um, what good cause?
Girl #2: I dunno. Fruit?
High School
Calgary
Canadia
Flat-chested girl (grabbing box of energy bars): Here, get some of these for tomorrow.
Guy: I don't know. Um… it says here that they're for girls.
Flat-chested girl: Yeah, let's get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, haha, they're not going to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat-chested girl, staring: Hasn't worked for me.
Guy (putting box in carriage): Hm-mmm.
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
