Girl to friends: Is butter a mineral? I can't eat minerals.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Actually I think it's a vegetable
Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.
Subway
Vienna
Austria
Professor to another: I saw you walk in with your purse, messenger bag, and backpack. You've been having sex again?
USC School of Social Work
California
Little kid: Mommy, why are there so many Asians here?
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/quiet-they-might-make-you-read-math.html
Overheard by: renee
Hobo: ‘Scuse me, yo, can you tell me where the psychological bathroom is?
Bookstore
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: bookseller
Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don't spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465741992/one-hour-is-plenty-of-time-for-a-lot-of-drugs.html
Overheard by: good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response
Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy #1: I am in love with her, do you know how I know that?
Guy #2: Because she reminds you of your mom?
Guy #1: Dude, gross! (pause) She does remind me of my sister a bit.
Devner, Colorado
Substitute teacher, as bird clock chimes on the hour: Is that a real bird, or is that just my drinking problem?
Class: [Silence.]Substitute teacher: … It’s my drinking problem.
Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California
Mother: You know what I’m going to have to do now?
Son, soaked from romping in fountain outside: Send me to the gypsies?!
J. Crew
Seattle, Washington