Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
Lady 1: So they're getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it's his brother's. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn't have normal children. It turns out she's the one who can't have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they're getting married?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused listener
Guy to another: I don't know what to tell you… If she won't break up with you because you invited her to have a threesome, then tell her that you have some disability… (mumbles) …like, what's that form of autism called? “Asperger syndrome”?
Bar
Austin, Texas
Girl playing video game: Some girls just want to get married. I just want fire.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Kelson
English professor: “My wife, Bob, is pregnant.” Polygamy, pregnant men, gay marriage–it's got it all!
University of Rock County
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Aku
Thugette: I went out with him for like two weeks before I even found out his name.
East Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: marcosx
Soccer mom: I can't believe I was able to convince my husband that I was gay.
Museum of Fine Arts
Boston, Massachusetts
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don't wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I'm like “no bitch, I don't even have a license yet.” We're thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Guy: So how's it going with Tom?
Girl: Good. He's stuck with me.
Guy: You're like a virus.
Girl: No, I'm more like something good you can't shake. Like a baby.
Derby, Connecticut
