Let's Hope She's Kidding

Guy to girl: So, do you call him “camp” for short?
Girl dead seriously: No, I call him master. He is my boyfriend, you know.

English Class
Tampa, Florida

Posted on December 15, 2017
Class, Florida, Girls, Guys, Names, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

But I'll Ask That the Contract Be Written on Recycled Paper

Greenpeace canvasser: Hey! Want to save some trees?
Lady: I don't have time right now. I have to go get rid of a man by divorcing him.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Deana

Posted on December 8, 2017
Illinois, Questions, Relationships, Strangers, Time Management, Women

But at Least I'm Passing His Biology Class This Time

Preppy girl on cell: Yeah. He just got out of jail and he's hitting on me again.

Salem Community High School
Salem, Illinois

Overheard by: LiLlistna

Posted on November 14, 2017
Crimes, Girls, Illinois, On the phone, Preppies, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Threats

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?

Posted on November 4, 2017
Florida, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality

But I Couldn't, So I Placed Blame on the Terrorists

Biochemistry lecturer, talking about his cholesterol issues: So I was trying to figure out how I could blame this on my wife.

University of Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: pink sunnies

Posted on October 1, 2017
Australia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Lies, Relationships, Teachers

It’d Be a Match Made in Heaven If She’d Only Stop Stealing My Watch

Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!

Open Bar
San Diego, California

Posted on September 30, 2017
BJs, California, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Strangers

I'd Ejaculate Prematurely Just to Get out of Her

Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.

Daly City, California

Posted on September 14, 2017
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

Let's Just Say His Istanbul Couldn't Constantinople

Woman: I've only been to Turkey once, to visit my boyfriend.
Turkish woman: That's far. He must be very good in bed.
Woman: We're not together anymore. I'll leave it at that.

Eastern Market
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Intern

Posted on May 12, 2017
Default, Foreigners, Geography, Relationships, Sex, Washington, DC, Women

And I’m Having Your Baby

Student: I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Teacher: What’s the bad news? That you didn’t do your homework?
Student: No, that’s the good news. The bad news is that I love you.

Arcadia, California

Posted on April 23, 2017
California, Relationships, Students, Teachers

What If Your Husband Finds Out?

Girl to pals in line for restroom: … So now I’m dating my boss, my landlord, and financial advisor…
Friend: Wow, that’s intense.

DeVos Performance Hall
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Caty

Posted on March 26, 2017
Bimbettes, Friends, Michigan, People, Relationships, Stupidity

Relationships