But at Least I'm Passing His Biology Class This Time

Preppy girl on cell: Yeah. He just got out of jail and he's hitting on me again.

Salem Community High School
Salem, Illinois

Overheard by: LiLlistna

Posted on November 14, 2017
Crimes, Girls, Illinois, On the phone, Preppies, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Threats

Sigh. For the Last Time, I Could Never Date a Top.

Mom, to little kid: Is she your girlfriend?
Little kid: (shakes head emphatically)
Mom: Oh! I don't mean like that, I mean “friend that's a girl.” I know Jenny is your girlfriend.
Little kid: Yeah!
Mom: And who's your boyfriend?
Little kid: I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom: But I thought Robert was your boyfriend!

Kennedy Space Center
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Isn't he a little young…?

Posted on November 4, 2017
Florida, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Relationships, Sexuality

But I Couldn't, So I Placed Blame on the Terrorists

Biochemistry lecturer, talking about his cholesterol issues: So I was trying to figure out how I could blame this on my wife.

University of Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: pink sunnies

Posted on October 1, 2017
Australia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Lies, Relationships, Teachers

It’d Be a Match Made in Heaven If She’d Only Stop Stealing My Watch

Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!

Open Bar
San Diego, California

Posted on September 30, 2017
BJs, California, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Strangers

I'd Ejaculate Prematurely Just to Get out of Her

Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn't you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.

Daly City, California

Posted on September 14, 2017
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

Let's Just Say His Istanbul Couldn't Constantinople

Woman: I've only been to Turkey once, to visit my boyfriend.
Turkish woman: That's far. He must be very good in bed.
Woman: We're not together anymore. I'll leave it at that.

Eastern Market
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Intern

Posted on May 12, 2017
Default, Foreigners, Geography, Relationships, Sex, Washington, DC, Women

And I’m Having Your Baby

Student: I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Teacher: What’s the bad news? That you didn’t do your homework?
Student: No, that’s the good news. The bad news is that I love you.

Arcadia, California

Posted on April 23, 2017
California, Relationships, Students, Teachers

What If Your Husband Finds Out?

Girl to pals in line for restroom: … So now I’m dating my boss, my landlord, and financial advisor…
Friend: Wow, that’s intense.

DeVos Performance Hall
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Caty

Posted on March 26, 2017
Bimbettes, Friends, Michigan, People, Relationships, Stupidity

Way to Ruin the Moment

Middle-aged woman: My wedding ring from my first marriage has new meaning now.
Friend: What's that?
Middle-aged woman: When I lost all that weight and it didn't fit anymore, I took it as a sign to divorce the bastard and marry Jesus Christ.
Friend: Why don't you just wear it on your toe instead?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563429/that-doesnt-have-the-same-effect.html

Overheard by: good lord.

Posted on February 14, 2017
Advice, Body parts, Default, Feelings, Friends, Jesus, Overheard in Minneapolis, Relationships, Women

So, Why’d God Break Your Hip, Myrtle?

Old lady #1: … And now he’s crippled!
Old lady #2: Well, of course he is. That’s what God does to people who get divorced.
Old lady #1: That’s true.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Voudou

Posted on January 31, 2017
God, Maladies, Old folks, Relationships, Wisconsin

Relationships