Professor: Sponges can regenerate from the broken pieces. If you put a sponge through a mincing machine, you just get lots of little sponges. If you put a cow through, you get mince. If you put a person through, you get arrested.
Rhodes University
South Africa
Overheard by: Amused Zoology Student
Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…
Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA’s here, so Houston’s still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M…
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me…
High school
Houston, Texas
Girl #1, reading aloud from a magazine: Did you know there are only 13 blimps in the entire world?
Girl #2: What's a blimp?
Girl #1: I don't know, but Liam wants to be killed by one.
Birmingham, Alabama
Teenage girl: But you don't actually believe god made the world in seven days.
Teenage boy: No.
Teenage girl: And you believe in evolution and the dinosaurs?
Teenage boy: Yes.
Teenage girl: How come?
Teenage boy: Because a world that never had dinosaurs is a world I want no part of.
Adelaide
Australia
Father, explaining electrical cables to teenage son: Yeah, she's got a transvestite in her wall. But you can convert the tranny back to a female, using the thing in the wall.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Jordyn
Science professor: This is plastic deformation, like what happens to those baby-seal catchers. You know, the plastic that comes around soda cans? Sometimes you catch penguins too, but those are much harder–they run really fast, and they have no regard for their bodies. They just throw themselves off cliffs.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Microbiology lecturer: If you were a bacteria, this would be a highly pornographic image.
Melbourne University
Australia
Biology professor: Hey, didn’t they discover that process in corals?
Grad student: No, they discovered that in plants.
Biology professor: That’s what I just said!
Grad student: But coral is not a plant.
Biology professor: What? Yes, it is!
Grad student: No, it’s not, it’s an animal!
Biology professor: Since when?
Grad student: Since always — go look it up!
Biology professor, after disappearing for five minutes: Fucking Wikipedia…
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: How’d you get this job, anyway?
Teacher to chattering students: Quit discussing biochemical warfare!
Biology Classroom
Auckland
New Zealand
