Stores

12-year-old girl to younger sibling: Every time you buy a Barbie they give money to the abortion place to give someone like a scholarship for an abortion. Every time you touch a barbie, it's like touching an abortion.

Toy Store
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i now want to touch a barbie

Mom: No, that’s not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It’s Christian. It only has violence in it!

Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri

Overheard by: blockbuster lurker

Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K-Mart… Shit, I mean “Wal-Mart.”

Wal-Mart
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Caitlin

Rowdy child in shopping cart: Mom! What's that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Rowdy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(rowdy child starts freaking out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Rowdy child: Nope…I just like attention.

Sobey's
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: aleXis

Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.

Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh

Peasant husband in bookshop, holding up book: Hey, look at this!
Peasant wife: That's the problem with books, they make you do things.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.

H&M
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: XT

Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!

Target
Overland Park, Kansas

Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?”
Friend: See, there you go. If you don't sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you're butt-fingered.

Subway Store
Maitland
Australia

New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!

Department Store
Melbourne
Australia