One Way Or Another, I'm Getting Laid in College

Student in English class: Does anyone know the difference between romantic poems with a capital R and lowercase r?

Reston, Virginia

Posted on October 31, 2021
Education, Offers and requests, Students, Stupidity, Virginia

Everybody Respects a Gentleman Bandit

Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, “hey, you have to do this or I'm going to shoot you.” (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you're polite about it.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: S.m. Torres

Posted on October 20, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Etiquette, Massachusetts, Murder, Students, Teachers, Threats

It Slunk Away After I Kicked Its Ass

Student to other: Do you have your uterus?

Duke Medicine
Durham, North Carolina

Posted on October 16, 2021
Default, North Carolina, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Uterus

On the Other Hand, Mocking You Is Both.

College girl #1: It was fun because it was easy.
College girl #2: Emily*, not all easy things are fun…like, I hear you're not that fun.

Borders
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on October 11, 2021
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Euphemisms, Girls, Pennsylvania, Students

None Of Which Are All That Hard

Student: Have you ever heard of the penis game?
Female professor: Which one? I've played many penis games.

Greek Myth Class
Illinois Wesleyan University

Overheard by: problem

Posted on October 2, 2021
Class, Default, Games, Girls, Illinois, Penis, Questions, Students, Teachers

….If There Any Left

College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.

Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Arthur

Posted on September 27, 2021
Compare and contrast, Customers, Employees, Food, Geography, Questions, Religion, Stores, Students, Wisconsin

Actually, It’s the Joker Disguised As Batman

Student, discussing artwork: … And this represents my soul!
Teacher, squinting: Your soul is Batman?

Twelfth grade art class
Frankfurt
Germany

Overheard by: Giggling in the back row

Posted on September 13, 2021
Germany, Questions, Students, Teachers

In the Immortal Words Of Khrushchev.

Chick giving presentation: Because this is Russia, bitch.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on September 4, 2021
Chicks, Colorado, Education, Geography, Insults, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students

…Which Is a Great Lead-In to My Lecture on Gonorrhea

Blonde girl: I hate horror movies, because then I get scared that those things are going to happen, cause they really do happen.
Teacher: You can't live your life like that! Those things are really rare! Like, I've been in all sorts of sketchy situations, and I'm still here.
Guy: You're just too sheltered.
Teacher: Like, when I was in Rwanda, this guy was giving us a ride and he was like “do you want to stay overnight at my house?” and we were like “okay,” and I immediately regretted that one…

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on September 2, 2021
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Geography, Girls, Guys, Memory lane, Movies, Students, Teachers

But I'm Not Sure the Koala Enjoys It

Male student #1: Man, you can't get pregnant doing that.
Male student #2: Oh.

Monash University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Assilem

Posted on August 31, 2021
Advice, Australia, Colleges & Universities, Pregnancy, Students

Students