Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze

Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.

Classroom
Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 10, 2020
Australia, Bimbettes, Class, Education, Murder, Questions, Science, Sensory experiences, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

You're Just Supposed to Be Having Sex Shamefully in Cars and Stairwells

Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!

Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas

Posted on March 26, 2020
Age and ageing, Beauty, Bragging, Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Texas

My Secret? Low Standards.

Girl #1: You fail at life.
Girl #2: Nuh-uh! I’m good at life! I have a C-plus at life!

High school
Ohio

Overheard by: Kat Navane

Posted on March 22, 2020
Bragging, Ohio, Students

Anybody Have Any Bread?

(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.

Colorado University, Boulder

Overheard by: In the back of the classroom

Posted on March 21, 2020
Class, Colorado, Default, Food, Health & Hygiene, Holidays, Maladies, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Students, Teachers

I Think It Was the Makeup Sex

Grad student: How did you crack your rib? That's awful.
Administrative assistant: My husband.

University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on March 17, 2020
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Delaware, Employees, Questions, Relationships, Students

“My Hatred for Teaching Is Vast As the Ocean”

English teacher: Can anyone tell me what the definition of a simile is?
Student: Like your ass…
English teacher: What did you say!?
Student: Like or as?
English teacher: Oh…yeah.

St. Joesph High School
New Jersey

Overheard by: Davel

Posted on March 14, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Insults, New Jersey, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

I'm Afraid Library Regulations Dictate That I Must Give You a Wedgie

Librarian: Watcha doin'?
High school girl: Studying.
Librarian: Nerd.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on March 12, 2020
Default, Education, Employees, Girls, Questions, Students, Washington, Words

This Reads Like a Seinfeld Line

College student: Everything in life can be related back to Seinfeld. It's like the bible, except it won't fail you.

Hookah Bar
Washington, DC

Posted on March 11, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Christianity, Compare and contrast, Default, Students, TV shows, Washington, DC

Something Grave, Anyway.

Catechism teacher: Where's Eric today?
Eric's friend: Eric's at the hospital with his mom.
Catechism teacher, concerned: Why?
Eric's friend: Cuz she has a tombstone, or something like that.

Rochester Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Betsy

Posted on February 27, 2020
Education, Friends, Maladies, Michigan, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Words

To Be Fair, I Only Saw Her a Little.

Psych professor: I dated a girl who was 4'10'' once, but she always insisted that that was the legal cutoff height for little people.
Psych student: Actually, I think 4'11'' is the cutoff.
Psych professor: What? I dated a midget?

Bennington, Vermont

Overheard by: laughing in class

Posted on February 19, 2020
Class, Default, Questions, Students, Teachers, Vermont, Weirdness, Words

Students