Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…
Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Moral and religious education teacher, describing opening scene of Gridiron Gang: So the movie opens, right, and you hear all these guns going off, and everyone's gangbanging everywhere…
Students: (silence, then loud raucous laughter)
Teacher: Oh, Jesus Christ… I mean they're shooting loads at each other… Oh god, no…
Centennial Regional High School
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: amused
Student: Are we only allowed to use pen, or can we use pencil?
Professor: Pen is preferable, but if you run out, pencil is better than writing in blood.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/13/you-dont-get-to-write-in-blood-till-grad-school/
Preppy freshman chick leaving dining hall: So, life decision for today: I want to become a Gummi Bear!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Anna Deaton
Feminist student, about discussion: No, this is completely wrong! We shouldn't be congratulating men for not having affairs!
Teacher: Yes, that's exactly right! I mean, it's like when we congratulate black people for staying out of prison!
(stunned silence)
Kendrick School
Columbus, Georgia
Overheard by: MJH
Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Student to friend: Just put the rape stick in the alcohol bag.
American University
Washington, DC
Teacher, holding up an ulna: Who can tell me what bone this is?
Student: A uterus!
Physiology class
New Jersey
Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there’s just so much symbolism in that movie — take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He’s, like, Everyman!
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I never thought of it that way
Biology teacher: Your brain can have a conscious override over breathing. However, it is hard to stop breathing intentionally.
Student: Oh, ya! That's why it's so hard to drown people!
Steilacoom, Washington
Overheard by: Meredith
