Our Sex Life Is Gaggleicious

19-year-old girlfriend: You're a silly goose!
19-year-old boyfriend: You are too!
19-year-old girlfriend: That's why we are dating!

Memphis, Tennessee

Posted on January 8, 2023
Animals, Bonding, Couples, Insults, Relationships, Stupidity, Tennessee

If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!

Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: monkey

Posted on December 31, 2022
Australia, Body parts, Default, Fears, Feelings, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Maladies, Pregnancy, Stupidity

And Really, Really Stupid, Too

Frat boy #1: She was so dumb.
Frat boy #2: You should watch how you use that word. It doesn’t really mean stupid — it really means ‘deaf.’
Frat boy #1: Okay, she was really deaf.

Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: English Major

Posted on December 20, 2022
Colorado, Frat boy types, Stupidity, Words

Lightly Stroke It.

Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don't push it.

Flight to New York

Overheard by: Erica Lynn

Posted on December 18, 2022
Advice, Airports & flights, Flight attendants, New York, Public transportation, Stupidity

…While Pretending You're Alan Rickman

Guy, clueless: Wow, I can't believe Snape was evil the whole time!
Girl, exasperated: I can't believe I fuck you every night.

Cinema, after Harry Potter
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Ellen

Posted on December 8, 2022
Girls, Guys, Movies, New York, Sex, Stupidity

I Only Go to the Cafeteria to Test Myself

Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!

Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: waiting in line

Posted on December 3, 2022
Bimbettes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Gripes, Maladies, Stupidity, Virginia

…With the Red Carpet

Teenage girl on cell: I'm not saying that I want to be famous, I know not everyone can be famous, I'm just saying that's the one thing I've always, like, aspired to, just a beautiful connection.

Huddersfield
England

Posted on November 20, 2022
England, On the phone, Stupidity, Teens, Wishes

God, You're So Competitive, Jason!

Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island… right?
Ditzy woman's daughter: I think that's the smartest thing that's ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.

Harrisburg, Illinois