If You Don’t, Try the Cafeteria’s Amphetameatloaf

History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya’ll get high from this, you’re welcome.

High School
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: thank you!

Posted on June 7, 2018
Default, Drugs, Education, Etiquette, School [Elem., Middle, & High], South Carolina, Teachers

It’s in My Sippy Cup Right Now

Second grade teacher: Okay, so if you are what you eat, what food would you be?
Student #1: Cake!
Student #2: Candy!
Student #3: Beer!
Second grade teacher: No, you can’t choose that. It’s illegal for you to drink beer.
Student #3: But I drink it all the time!

St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 4, 2018
Canadia, Comebacks, Crimes, Default, Food, Kids, Questions, Students, Teachers

We Imagine Futurama‘s Professor Farnsworth in This Role

Student: Hi professor, we need some help with our regressions.
Professor, cutting her off: Enough about you. I got a new dog yesterday, look I have a picture!
Student: Uhh… He’s cute?

Wellesley, Massachusetts

Posted on May 31, 2018
Animals, Default, Education, Etiquette, Massachusetts, Students, Teachers

Yikes, Where?

Teacher, on Rosh Hashanah: Dylan?
Dylan: Here.
Teacher: Katie?
Katie: Here.
Teacher: Adam?
Class: Jew.

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on May 26, 2018
Religion, Students, Teachers, Tennessee

Like “It's My Potty (And I'll Be Dry If I Want To)”

Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
Two-year-old girl: I don't go potty anymore; I listen to music.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/420122010/i-listen-to-music-to-make-potty-time-easier.html

Overheard by: wayzata

Posted on April 27, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Kids, Music, Overheard in Minneapolis, Poop, Questions, Teachers

Who's Black and White and Back from the Dead All Over?

Black girl, holding up picture she drew of black Jesus: My hero is Jesus Christ.
White kid: Jesus isn't black.
Black girl: Yes, he is!
White kid: No, he's white!
Uncomfortable teacher: Now, now, let's just say Jesus is all colors!

Art Class, Middle School
Maryland

Posted on April 6, 2018
Black people, Education, Jesus, Maryland, Race, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Whiteys

As Long As You Diligently Come to Office Hours

Teacher: Listen, I guarantee that by the time you graduate, each one of you will have a form of herpes.

New York City, New York

Posted on April 4, 2018
Default, Education, Maladies, New York, Teachers, Weirdness

Now Squint, Damn Your Eyes!

History professor: You know how I said that this class wouldn't have a lot of text-heavy PowerPoint slides? Sometimes I lie to you, because that's funny.

Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: i love this school

Posted on April 3, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Education, Lies, Michigan, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

But They Look Fantastic the Whole Time

Professor: The Swedes. They look at the glaciers, go inside, watch a Bergman film, have a heavy drink, then have some sex in the sauna, but ultimately that is unsatisfying, so they kill themselves.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on March 16, 2018
Class, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Geography, Movies, Ohio, Sex, Teachers

Then Why Does Everyone Have Such a Funny Accent?

Five-year-old Asian boy: Can we go to America?
Teacher: We are in America!

Harvard Yard
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: laughing

Posted on March 15, 2018
Massachusetts, Questions, Students, Teachers

Teachers