Not Even a Semi? You Disappoint Me.

Professor: Here's a good thing to compare to the turgor pressure in a plant cell: have any of you seen an erection?

University of Illinois at Chicago

Overheard by: suddenly paying attention

Posted on August 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Erections, Illinois, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Are We Late to the Idiom Party or Something?

College therapist to class: Now take deep, slow breaths. We don't want stress to take over, because stress means purple elephants.

Marquette, Michigan

Posted on August 5, 2009
Animals, Employees, Feelings, Michigan, Students, Weirdness, Wishes

I'm Getting Lonely All by Myself in This Little Office

Woman on intercom: Would Joe Smithson please report to the guidance office? (pause) Please? Seriously, please, please, please, just come… please.

High School
New Jersey

Overheard by: Miss Fabulous

Posted on August 5, 2009
New Jersey, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Weirdness, Women

Now Everyone Brace Yourselves While I Release the Bee

Teacher: If there's a bee flying around the classroom, I don't want you to freak out. But, if you get stung by a bee, I want you to jump up, scream, run for the door, run into the door because you didn't open it, scream again, and run out. If you're going to disturb the class, we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Bristol, Vermont

Overheard by: Misaki

Posted on August 5, 2009
Class, Education, Insects, Students, Teachers, Vermont, Weirdness, Wishes

Or Don't Be the Idiot Who Schedules Things Before Noon

Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.

Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 4, 2009
Advice, Class, Drugs, Education, Food, New York, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

What You Never Knew About Clark Kent's Upbringing

Daddy: If you don't eat…
Three-year-old boy: You'll hit my butt? I like it when you hit my butt, it feels good on my super wee-wee!

Chick-fil-A
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on August 4, 2009
Ass, Dads, Food, Kids, Parenting, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Should have used a condom, South Carolina, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

It'll Be a Nice Compliment to Your Bowel-Movement Streaming News Feed

Girl #1: I'll check back. I'll continue to burp regularly and tell you about it.
Girl #2: Please do.

Brock University
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on August 3, 2009
Burping & farting, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Girls, Weirdness

Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Posted on July 30, 2009
Bringing it back to you, Education, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

Are We Giving Or Receiving?

Older man: You kids gonna come out and play?
Kid: Play what?
Older man: Cornhole.

Indiana

Posted on July 30, 2009
Backdoor, Games, Guys, Indiana, Kids, Questions, Weirdness

Some Lesbians Are More Convincing with Their Beards Than Others

Girl #1: Are you still going out with that guy you were with back in April?
Girl #2: (blank stare)
Girl #1: The one you were living with?
Girl #2: (blank stare)
Girl #1: The one with the dog?
Girl #2: (blank stare)
Girl #1: Little black dog?
Girl #2: Oh, Jack! Yeah, we're still together.

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Zoe

Posted on July 30, 2009
Animals, Bus, Girls, Questions, Relationships, Washington, Weirdness

Weirdness

Are We Late to the Idiom Party or Something?