20-something girl in bathroom, to cat scratching at the bathroom door trying to get in: Why? Why the hell do you want to come in here? You don't even like me!
Maryland
Girl walking through park to friend: Oh my god, look! Those people are having sex on that bench over there! That's gross. (pause) Wait, that's my roommate! (yelling) Hi, Sarah!
(girl having sex on bench waves)
Australia
Middle aged woman whispering to bald man at the bar: Put on a thong and meet me outside in five.
Irish Pub
Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania
Elevator repair man: Hey, I got a call that someone was stuck in the elevator.
Security guard: Yeah, but I haven't heard any more noise from her in like four hours, so I guess she's fine.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Professor: It's like pouring milk on the floor and putting your baby in it. Not as efficient as a nipple.
University of Vermont
Man on cell: Behold, Beverly, my codpiece is enormous! Praise be to Jupiter!
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: Freezair
High school boy: From now on, I'm going to do everything as homosexually as possible.
Bellingham, Washington
Girl to another: I love being a bitch…it makes life so much more meaningful!
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: None of my business
Guy with small crowd around him (completely straight-faced): So we're doing everything we can to ensure that there'll be as little incest going on as possible. (crowd nods)
Hofstra University, New York
Woman to friend: I was just wondering how I was going to get my panties on in traffic.
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Tatiana
