What Happens When You Read the Thesaurus at Bedtime

Little girl to dog: Lucy, no! I admonish you!

Perry Square
Erie, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, Kids, Pennsylvania, Weirdness, Words

We’re Hoping She Stays Out of the Minibar

Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.

Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Holidays, Idiots, On the phone, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

…Ever See Crouching Vibrator, Hidden Weapon?

Teenage girl, on self defense: I think that 'bob' really works. People know I'm not messing around when they get my dildo thrown at them.

Hillsboro, Oregon

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on July 25, 2015
Girls, Oregon, Toys, Violence, Weirdness

And This Time Don’t Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

YMCA
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

Posted on July 25, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Fears, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Violence, Weirdness, YMCA

But the Fox Would Never Forgive Me

Man with strange beard to friend: My girlfriend would love me forever if I got her a fox's skull.

London
England

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, England, Guys, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

Tingly!

Young woman #1: I wonder if Vicks expires.
Young woman #2: Yeah, it expires. I use it as butt lube.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Ashrey

Posted on July 24, 2015
Ass, Backdoor, California, Default, Drugs, Weirdness, Women

This Is What Happens When Harry Potter Fans Grow Up

Extremely drunk chick crying: I love him so much and he doesn’t even know! He’s my soulmate.
Exasperated sober chick: He’s fictional!

Armory Square
Syracuse, New York

Posted on July 24, 2015
Chicks, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Feelings, Gripes, New York, Sexuality, Weirdness

And If You Could Pass to the Front Your Wallets and Jewelry, That Would Be Awesome– Thanks!

Pilot to passengers: Everyone, please make sure your seatbelts are fastened. I'm gonna fly this plane like I stole it.

Flight from Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on July 24, 2015
Advice, Airports & flights, Default, Offers and requests, Pilots, Public transportation, Tennessee, Weirdness

We'll Now Proceed to the Dining Hall for an On-Site Demonstration

Professor, discussing King Solomon's Mines: So they find the body in the cave, and it hasn't decomposed at all. Not such a strange thing, as those of you who've ever hidden a body in a freezer will know.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on July 23, 2015
Books, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Teachers, Weirdness

We're Going to Congress!

Student to friend: Just put the rape stick in the alcohol bag.

American University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 22, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Friends, Students, Violence, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Weirdness