Well I Can't Help It If Yours Is a Bigger Target

Guy going up escalator to friend: Did you see that? That guy just tried to touch my butt.
Friend: Don't complain, he succeeded in touching mine!

Washington, DC

Posted on July 28, 2015
Ass, Friends, Guys, Sensory experiences, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Or You'll Spill Your Wine

Spanish professor, as class leaves on Friday: Be careful driving when you drink this weekend!

Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana

Overheard by: whitney

Posted on July 27, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Indiana, Teachers, Weirdness

Sometimes I Go Overboard with My Hoeing

Sweet old lady: I'm a pretty wild gardener.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on July 26, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Old folks, Washington, Weirdness, Women, Words

I’m Considering Reaching Out to Her With a Fifty Caliber Rifle

Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.

Huxley, Iowa

Overheard by: Hondo

Posted on July 26, 2015
Crimes, Default, Friends, Guys, Iowa, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

What Happens When You Read the Thesaurus at Bedtime

Little girl to dog: Lucy, no! I admonish you!

Perry Square
Erie, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, Kids, Pennsylvania, Weirdness, Words

We’re Hoping She Stays Out of the Minibar

Blonde on cell: We got a nice hotel room for our cat.

Montgomery and California
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Holidays, Idiots, On the phone, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

…Ever See Crouching Vibrator, Hidden Weapon?

Teenage girl, on self defense: I think that 'bob' really works. People know I'm not messing around when they get my dildo thrown at them.

Hillsboro, Oregon

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on July 25, 2015
Girls, Oregon, Toys, Violence, Weirdness

And This Time Don’t Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

YMCA
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

Posted on July 25, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Fears, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Violence, Weirdness, YMCA

But the Fox Would Never Forgive Me

Man with strange beard to friend: My girlfriend would love me forever if I got her a fox's skull.

London
England

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, England, Guys, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

Weirdness