Bar manager: So, did you watch that film I gave you?
Bouncer: Yeah, man — I couldn’t get past the opening credits without a box of tissues.
Bar
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: Tom
50-something man to 50-something woman: You are not homeless. Homeless people don't own dinnerware!
BART Train
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Morpheus
Girl on cell: I just heard the most epic pickup line. Like, if Homer had known this pickup line it would have been all over The Odyssey.
Northwestern University
Illinois
Big dude on phone: Yeah, I am feeling better… I woke up at four a.m. this morning, but it’s okay — I’m taking that euthanasia stuff and it seems to be helping.
Tram, Victoria Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Louise
Girl #1: A baby exploded on me today.
Girl #2: Did you just say “exploded”?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Ew!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn’t get it up, so we just watched Schindler’s List instead.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Girl: T9 is responsible for so many mishaps. Once I tried to text someone “thanks for helping me”. Instead I typed “thanks for humping me.” It was bad!
Tacoma, Washington
Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
White, middle aged music professor: I don’t do sevenths. Homie don’t play that.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
