With the Same Impure Love You Have for Hello Kitty

Hipster guy, earnestly: Yeah, you’ll love her; her face is really funny!

16th & Market
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 30, 2021
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Guys, Hipsters, Pennsylvania, Words

Arlene Was Quickly Eliminated at the Grammar Rodeo

Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah, or I'm gonna get more sicker!
Redneck friend: There's no such thing as “more sicker.” It's a double negative.
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah! Double sicker!

Oneonta, New York

Overheard by: Caroline

Posted on November 9, 2021
Default, Maladies, New York, Rednecks, Stupidity, Women, Words

Then the Mescaline Wore Off, and I Was Naked in a Public Fountain

Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!

Federal Hill, Baltimore

Posted on November 4, 2021
Animals, Crazies, Default, Guys, Maryland, Weirdness, Words

It Gave Me Extra Flotation, Like a Pool Noodle

Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn’t that hurt your fluffy bits?

Memphis, Tennessee

Posted on October 31, 2021
Default, Friends, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Tennessee, Words

More Women With Dirtier Minds Than Men

Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they’re Bob’s* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.

Oakland, California

Overheard by: I laughed because I didn’t know what was going on