20-something guy: And then she was like, “there's a boner in my ass!” She was like a turbo-slut!
Diner
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: Dianachka
Greenpeace employee to college girl: Hey! Are you pro-environment?
College girl: No, sorry, post-apocalyptic.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: rabbit
Hipster guy, earnestly: Yeah, you’ll love her; her face is really funny!
16th & Market
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah, or I'm gonna get more sicker!
Redneck friend: There's no such thing as “more sicker.” It's a double negative.
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah! Double sicker!
Oneonta, New York
Overheard by: Caroline
Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn’t that hurt your fluffy bits?
Memphis, Tennessee
Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they’re Bob’s* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: I laughed because I didn’t know what was going on
Professor: Now, let's try smallening the interval.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Asian woman: You know, I'm not normally a lesbian. I was just scoping out the competition last night!
Christchurch
New Zealand
Black professor: Actually, it wasn't neither… Excuse me, I had an Ebonics moment. Please forgive me.
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
