Words

Indian lady on crowed bus on cell: Yes. 'h' as in 'Hitler.'

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Not Me

Six-year-old: Piss piss pissy piss piss.
Unconcerned mother: Oh, look here’s the Crayola aisle!

Michael’s
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Women in heels on cell: What? You had sex with a junkie? A junkie? (pause) Oh, a *donkey*. I see. (pause) So I guess you were drunk.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: walking & talking

Tall blonde: That’s just cause you’re short… No, don’t worry! You’re adorably short. You’re small and compact for my convenience.
Short brunette: I’m fun-sized!

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: in the spirit of Halloween

Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he’s just teaching there for the kielbasa.

Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota

Professor: “Annihilation.” I love this word. You will see it again.

Arcadia University
Glenside, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: disturbed student

Party girl: It's a pow-wow!
Party guy: Dude, everyone knows it's not a pow-wow without a fire.
Party girl: I have a sombrero.
Party guy: No, no, that's a fiesta!

Salisbury, Maryland

Chick: He knows how to put it in, he just hasn’t ever done it before.

Laurentian University
Sudbury, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Beebo

Guy: We're talking heroic amounts of porn.
Girl, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, what?
Guy: What?
Girl: How is “heroic” a unit of measurement?
Guy: No. I mean: if you met the guy, he'd be your hero.
Girl, still laughing, walking away: I can't.

Connecticut

Overheard by: LunaFish

Dad to son in stroller: Here's where we saw the sexy tree!

Disney World Animal Kingdom
Orlando, Florida