Words

Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?

School Classroom
Australia

Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….

Drunk guy with pink hat: You guys should totally use chop sticks — it’s so pussy not to.
Hippie, light-heartedly: We’re trying to save some trees.
Drunk guy with pink hat: Do you have any idea how many geese I killed today? 12.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/09/computer-back-sun-resolved-everyone.html

Overheard by: hearing aid

Dad to daughter: Just don't pretend you're riding a bucking bronco when you're in bed.

Seattle, Washington

Angry girl: He. Gave. Me. Go-no-rrhe-a!
Calm girl: So? (pause) You're not getting back with him?

Pierpont Dorm
UMass, Amherst

10-year-old boy to Scrabble players: You guys are playing Scrabble? That’s totally pimpin’!

Comic book store
Towson, Maryland

Girl #1: Soooooo, how did staying at his place go?
Girl #2: Well? (smiles)
Girl #1: You opened the muffin shop, didn't you?
Girl #2: Yeah, well, only for a night.
Girl #1: Seriously? I thought we said that was a bad idea.
Girl #2: And a morning. Sorry.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/417242381/tonight-were-going-out-for-coffee.html

Overheard by: Ian

Man: You're going to need to empty your bladder.
Little girl (in squeaky high voice): I don't wanna empty my bladder!
Man (unashamedly loud): You'll need to empty your bladder before you get on the plane!
Little girl: Not fair!

St. Paul Airport
Minneapolis

Dude: It’s not that I live with my mom, it’s that my mom is my roommate…

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: Sarah

Lady on the bus: So I was 17 and pregnant! He was a Nazi extremist, but a very nice man. Very charming. I was rebellous (sic) as a teenager. Very rebellous. But now I'm old-fashioned, and I've got lots of morals.

Wellington
New Zealand

Overheard by: dominic