Spanish teacher, teaching tenses: If your parents were away, what would you do?
Student: I would do Jeff!
(class laughs)
Student: No, I mean I would invite Jeff over!
Spanish teacher: That doesn't make it sound any better.
High School
Concord, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Girl #1: Remember that time you chased the porcupine?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was so cute, I just wanted to pet it.
Girl #1: And remember when you tried to run that bullfrog over?
Girl #2: That's because I don't like animals that aren't furry.
Girl #1: What about the porcupine? He's not furry.
Girl #2: But porcupines have feathers, so they count.
Girl #1: Porcupines don't have feathers.
Girl #2: Yes, they do.
Girl #1: They have quills.
Girl #2: Oh! When you were saying “porcupine” I thought you meant “turkey.”
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Stylish girl: I could never be happy with him. All he does is speak in cliches. Who could be happy with someone like that?
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Nerdy college guy #1: “Bitch” does have a negative connotation.
Nerdy college guy #2: But girls say it to each other, it's like the “n” word!
Nerdy college guy #3: And it can be used as a greeting! “Yo, bitch, what's shakin'?”
USF
Florida
Overheard by: SB
Russian professor: Grammarlicious definition makes them “gringo locos.” (pause) Now that you've all been permanently scarred…
Arizona State University
Girl #1: With the right emphasis, anything can sound dirty.
Girl #2: I'll jump on your trampoline.
Girl #1: I'll park in your car park.
Girl #2: I'll reverse up your back alley.
(pause)
Girl #2: I think it just got too literal.
Girl #1: Me too.
Sydney
Australia
20-something American guy: Hermaphrodites are real?
20-something American girl: Well, what did you think they were?
20-something American guy: I thought they were a made-up word, like “unicorn” or something.
Bar
Munich
Germany
Girl in class: Dan, can you spread me out? (pause) Oh, that sounded wrong.
University of Northern Colorado
