Guy: I was a dragon in my past life.
Girl: Did you have sex with other dragons?
Guy: Of course.
High School Gym
West Virginia
Overheard by: Kimber
Guy: I was a dragon in my past life.
Girl: Did you have sex with other dragons?
Guy: Of course.
High School Gym
West Virginia
Overheard by: Kimber
Female grad student on cell: Yeah, but what would be the societal benefit of having a bunch of dinosaurs running around?
SUNY Stony Brook
New York
Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.
Bar
Colorado
Professor: I think fish are not animals. I don't have a concrete answer, but I think they are not animals.
Michigan State University
Overheard by: sjshock
Grandmother: I think the cat is pregnant with one kitten or something.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, and the kitten is like, controlling her from the inside.
Spokane, Washington
Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.
Calgary
Canadia
Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045
Girl student: Her family is so weird.
Guy student: How so?
Girl student: Her dad, like, goes in her backyard and catches squirrels.
Guy student, after long pause: Wait, what does he do with them?
Girl student: Raises them?
Starbucks
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Ashlie
Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karl
