…Does Hallmark Make a Card Saying That?

Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.

Bar
Colorado

Posted on August 29, 2015
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Colorado, Default, Girls, Vagina, Weirdness

But Rocks Definitely Are.

Professor: I think fish are not animals. I don't have a concrete answer, but I think they are not animals.

Michigan State University

Overheard by: sjshock

Posted on August 20, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Michigan, Science, Stupidity, Teachers, Weirdness

Um, That's a Water Bottle.

50-something female suit: That's a dog? I thought it was a kid in a weird hat!

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: really?

Posted on August 13, 2015
Animals, Clothes, Clothing, Kids, Missouri, Suits

That Wouldn't Make a Bad Video Game

Grandmother: I think the cat is pregnant with one kitten or something.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, and the kitten is like, controlling her from the inside.

Spokane, Washington

Posted on August 11, 2015
Advice, Animals, Default, Guys, Kids, Old folks, Washington, Women

And What If It Took Pictures?

Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.

Calgary
Canadia

Posted on August 9, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Clothes, Foreigners, Queers, Weirdness, Wishes

Says the Girl Who Was Caught Humping a Rhino?

Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045

Posted on August 8, 2015
Animals, Birthing, Crazies, Education, Friends, Girls, Washington, Weirdness, Wishes

I Always Thought She Seemed a Bit Fuzzy for a Girl

Girl student: Her family is so weird.
Guy student: How so?
Girl student: Her dad, like, goes in her backyard and catches squirrels.
Guy student, after long pause: Wait, what does he do with them?
Girl student: Raises them?

Starbucks
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Ashlie

Posted on August 5, 2015
Animals, Girls, Minnesota, Questions, Students, Weirdness

For Example, They Blush When You Cook 'em

Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl