Animals

Their Humps Are Actually Human Skulls

Boyfriend looking at stone sculpture of camel: Yo, what do camels eat?
Girlfriend: Camels eat people.
Boyfriend: I think they eat grass.
Girlfriend: No. Camels eat people.
Boyfriend, turning to passersby: Excuse me, what do camels eat?
Passerby #1: Uhh…I think they eat plants.
Girlfriend: No! Camels eat people!
Passerby #2: But, look, they don't have any claws or fangs. They can't eat people.
Passerby #1, disgusted: They eat plants.
Girlfriend, scoffing: There's no plants in the desert! That's why they eat people. Camels eat people!

Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Camels should eat some people…

…And They Have Cats

Female student #1: Can you ride me piggyback after class?
Female student #2: Can *he* ride *you* after class?
Female student #1, giggling: That's not what I meant!
Male student: Wait, don't you have, like, 20 cats?
Female student #1: (slaps him)
Female student #2: You do have a lot of cats…

Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Yoshi

To What Extent Would It Involve Nut Gathering?

University administrator: I’ve been thinking that I should start my own cult. It doesn’t have to be anything sexual. It could involve squirrels.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289741685/i-do-not-like-where-this-is-going.html

Overheard by: count me in!

Like Clams.

Guy with hair down to waist and death metal t-shirt: I really enjoy eating animals that have the ability to eat humans.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/feeling-is-mutual-im-sure.html

Overheard by: horrified zoo-enthusiast

No More Scientific American for You, Young Lady.

Teacher: What that show didn't tell you is that ferrets smell like dirty wet dog.
Seven-year-old girl: Well, you know you can get their scent glands removed.
Teacher: Yeah, but is that really good for them?
Seven-year-old girl: I think it's about the same as removing a dog's testicles.

Seattle, Washington

Theme Parks Are Quite Different in Europe

Loud, fat american teen: I have to take the biggest leak ever. Pause. And then I want to check out those hedgehogs.

Market in Freiburg, Germany

I'm Cuckoo As a Table-Saw Today.

Director of the office of judicial affairs: It was a blizzard. It was snowing so much, it was snowing like a pig. (pause) I have no idea why I just said that.

Orientation
University, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Emurii

If You Need a Longer Break, “Fluffy Pink Clouds 101” Is Right Down the Hall

Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Wait, No, a Dolphin

Guy to girlfriend: It sounds like we hit a whale.

AirTran plane from New Orleans to New York

Overheard by: Jofo

Don’t Trust Skinny People with Your Food

Skinny guy #1: I’m thinking our restaurant should have, like, taxidermied animals and tomato plants and stuff.
Skinny guy #2: Way cool!
Skinny guy #1: That way it could be like a museum of natural history full of the things people are eating, living or dead.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/business-plan.html

Overheard by: rich

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