Bars & Clubs

Girl to friend: I'm going to order a pint. Or do we just want to split a pitcher?
Friend: I'm pregnant, remember?
Girl: Oh, yeah. But I thought you were planning to abort it?
Friend: I am. (sighs) Okay, let's get a pitcher.

Bar
Zwankendamme
Belgium

Girl #1: They're checking out your ass. Up you skirt.
Girl #2: Whatevs. (pause) Wait, do they have cameras?

Hotle Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: arrc

20-something American guy: Hermaphrodites are real?
20-something American girl: Well, what did you think they were?
20-something American guy: I thought they were a made-up word, like “unicorn” or something.

Bar
Munich
Germany

American tourist to girlfriend: No, it's a special species of blue rabbit that can survive in space.
Girlfriend: Wow!

Kaaba Cafe
Prague
Czech Republic

Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!

Bar
Nebraska

Overheard by: allie

Barmaid: I was having sex with a girl, and in the heat of the moment she called me Frank. Which is horrifying, as that's her dad's name.

Pub
Surrey
England

Mexican drag queen hosting a show: It's St. Patrick's day tomorrow…
Crowd: It's today!
Mexican drag queen: Is it tonight? I never know these things, I don't watch the news!

Gay Bar
Toronto
Canadia

Drunk man to another: If I had a nose like fluorine I wouldn't be wishing anyone a merry Christmas.

Bar
Edinburgh
Scotland

Overheard by: Jesse Green

Bartender to limping girl entering bar: Are you limping? Oh my god! What happened?
Limping girl: Damn, you weren't here last night, I was hoping you'd tell me!

Washington, DC

Drunk girl at pub table: It's just that guys get sex changes all the time and then realize it's not so fun. They just think it'd be awesome to have boobs.

London
England

Overheard by: Grew her own boobs.