Girl, looking at bag of coffee: Tan-zay-nee-uh. Hey, I didn't know that was a country!
(friends laugh)
Girl: That's a pretty name, I'm going to name my daughter that!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Girl, looking at bag of coffee: Tan-zay-nee-uh. Hey, I didn't know that was a country!
(friends laugh)
Girl: That's a pretty name, I'm going to name my daughter that!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Drunk guy #1: I don't know, I bet she was a nice-looking Irish lass back in her day.
Drunk guy #2: You keep calling my grandma a piece of ass like it's a compliment.
Bar
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Mike K.
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world's problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.
Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
Hipster girl #1: Those are nice (points at earrings), where did you get them?
Hipster girl #2: Oh, I stole these. I only steal earrings, for some reason. So did your parents ever get those goats for their farm?
Hipster girl #1: Not yet, but my mom said they're going to start growing pot.
Hipster girl #2: That's cool.
Cafe
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Vincent Ignatius
Random board gamer: Settlers of Catan was created in the bowels of hell to make otherwise intelligent people say: “I have wood for sheep.”
Epoch Coffee
Austin, Texas
Girl #1: So my computer is dead, and I don't know how to fix it.
Girl #2: What do you think is wrong with it?
Girl #1: It's got a virus. But it was totally worth it.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? Why?
Girl #1: Well, Mary* and I were curious and wanted to know if midgets' dicks are normal-sized or midget-sized, so we were looking up midget porn.
Girl #2: And the verdict is?
Girl #1: They're normal-sized. This one guy was seriously a tripod. It's incredible.
Male bartender: Yeah, I can see how that would be worth a completely devastating virus on your computer. Can you write down the website you found it on?
Killarney's Pub
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Man walking into coffee shop: I need some pantyhose, stat!
Muddy Waters Coffee Shop
Burlington, Vermont
Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don't want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Girl: And it's not like Jeffery Dahmer crazy, it's like Mel Gibson crazy.
Coffee Shop
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Asteria