Bartender: I can’t believe she rides her bike to work.
Waitress: Well, she lives just around the corner.
Bartender: I don’t care. If I lived in the parking lot, I would still drive to work.
Phoenix, Arizona
Bartender: I can’t believe she rides her bike to work.
Waitress: Well, she lives just around the corner.
Bartender: I don’t care. If I lived in the parking lot, I would still drive to work.
Phoenix, Arizona
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Bartender: The answer was “The North Sea.” We did not accept “Nordic” or “Norse.”
Guy: But my hand has a lisp!
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Dude at bar: So wait, after her husband left her here by herself–completely shitfaced–she then fucked a total stranger in the bathroom?
Bartender: Yep.
Dude at bar: And then she came back out here bragging about getting banged in the ass?
Gay dude, sidling up: Sounds like an awesome night.
District Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
Bartender: So, what do you do?
Girl: I work at the morgue dissecting babies. Y’know, cutting them to get skin samples.
Bartender: Really?
Girl: Yeah. We call it ‘the baby grinder.’
Bartender: That’s disgusting.
Girl: What’s really gross is every time I do it I get really hungry.
Bar
Fitzroy
Australia
Bartender #1: Yeah, so I had this weird shit comin' outta my dick. It was sick, dude. Like this funky green pus-like shit oozing from the tip. Smelled like shit, too.
Bartender #2: Dude, you need to quit boning so many filthy whores. You're like rotting from the inside.
Bartender #1: Shit, man, I don't give a fuck. As long as I keep gettin' laid.
Bartender #2: You ain't gonna be doin' shit if your fuckin' nasty dick falls off.
Bartender #1: I know, right? This last chick I nailed was a total slut. I pulled down my pants and she could smell whatever's up with my cock. She goes “Ew, what stinks? Is that your dick?” And I go, “No, it's my feet, I swear!” Then I just pulled her towards me and shoved it in. It was awesome.
Bartender #2: Fuck, man. Something's definitely wrong with you.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Nasty Nate
Male bartender: Why'd you open a new grenadine? We have an open one right here. See? Cherry drips all over it.
Female bartender: I got your cherry drips right here. (pause) Wait. Never mind.
St. Louis Park, Minnesota
Overheard by: Whelan
Drunk girl: I have an amazing vagina.
Bartender: Is it an innie or an outie?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: abby
Restaurant waitress, ranting: If my family weren't here I would take my shoe off and stab you in the eye with it.
Saugus, Massachusetts
Guy to female bartender: Why don't we just date other people together?
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/proposal.html
Overheard by: rich
