Beauty

Girl #1 to friend (indicating a cream to get rid of razor burn bumps on the bikini area): Does this stuff work okay?
Girl #2: Yeah, it works, it just smells kinda funny.
Girl #1: I don’t care how it smells, it’s goin’ next to my vagina. I don’t need no strawberries.

Target
Winchester, Virginia

Overheard by: Kendra

Teen girl holding shoe: Can I get this in a…
Ghetto shoe salesman: Dayummm girl, that's an ugly shoe!
Teen girl: Em… Aren't you supposed to be selling this to me?
Ghetto shoe salesman: Yeah, but see, y'alls not a ugly person, I can't let y'all buy an ugly shoe.
Teen girl: Thank you?

Los Angeles, California

Girl #1: Yuck! You dated him? Why?
Girl #2: Well, I thought he was cute, but it turns out he was really just rich.

Manuel Antonio
Costa Rica

College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She's gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that's awesome! Y'know, nurses make the best porn stars.

Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont

Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.

Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas

Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? “I'm the best even though I'm fat”?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Old man on phone: I am a beautiful woman.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Waiter, about female patron: Mmm. So hot. I just want to pump her full of babies!

Seattle, Washington

Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: sean

Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: “Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty.”

Women’s Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle