Beauty

Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? “I'm the best even though I'm fat”?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Old man on phone: I am a beautiful woman.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Waiter, about female patron: Mmm. So hot. I just want to pump her full of babies!

Seattle, Washington

Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: sean

Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: “Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty.”

Women’s Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Plus-size girl looking at maternity shirt: Oh, this is cute! (pause) It will hide my fat rolls!

JC Penney
Wichita, Kansas

Girl to friend: When I think beautiful, I think green hair.

Burbank, California

Overheard by: Amused shopper

Dude: Cool, you were in Asia… How was it?
Chick: The tsunami was the best thing for Thailand, everything was so clean and pretty afterwards.

Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: Sean_G

Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.

University of Alabama

Strange transvestite: Ohmigod, you are sooo pretty.
Girl: Umm… Thanks?
Transvestite's friend: Oh, yes she is.
(they walk away)
Girl: I'm never wearing this shirt again.

Houston, Texas