Guy, as girlfriend walks ahead of him into store: Don’t ever get a girlfriend, man. Fucking lunatic bitches! … She can suck a dick, though.
Gas station
Sacramento, California
Guy, as girlfriend walks ahead of him into store: Don’t ever get a girlfriend, man. Fucking lunatic bitches! … She can suck a dick, though.
Gas station
Sacramento, California
Asian girl: Can I have two penises?
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Professor: I'm afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.
San Diego, California
Guy #1: I'm so totally better than him. I have two properly functioning legs.
Guy #2: So does he, they just don't work quite as well as yours.
Guy #1: That's what the crutches are for.
High School
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Alex
Girl: I almost failed my drug test because I couldn't pee in front of the lady. I guess I can never go to prison.
Chico, California
Overheard by: KJ
Woman on porch to man on porch: I really like the way you tell Jack to get off the couch!
Pacifica, California
Student #1: My friend's mom didn't let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread 'em.
Loma Linda, California
Toddler boy in stall with mom: I’m done!
Mom: Are you sure? Why are you doing that? Don’t pull on it!
Toddler boy: Daddy does it all the time!
Border Grill
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Smooph
High school dude #1: It's like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit's important.
Santa Ana, California
Guy to girlfriend: It doesn’t matter what we do! It’s pervert weekend!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
