Toddler in stroller: I need to pee!
Mom: We just peed on the tree.
Davis, California
Toddler in stroller: I need to pee!
Mom: We just peed on the tree.
Davis, California
Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.
The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California
Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.
Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California
20-something guy to another: He found Jesus. In the two months I hadn't seen him, the motherfucker found Jesus.
Swinger's
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kristin
Man to son: Stop talking about vampire bats and focus on your poop.
San Diego, California
Dad, leading three-year-old girl to bathroom: You need to go potty? You can sit on the potty in here.
Three-year-old girl: No, that potty's not for me. That's for mommy. She has a big butt.
Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
Teen to her friends: We watched Tommy Boy in history class today.
Gas station
Santa Monica, California
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Single mom: And what happens to Cinderella at midnight?
Eight-year-old son: She gets destroyed!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Mom to little girl: No, we are not getting Eliza* a present. She hasn't given you a present ever since the elephant incident.
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
