California

Persian princess: That's why I really want to be into journalism. I think that being somewhere where there's, like, a tsunami or earthquake is really exciting to me…
Horny first date: Yeah, yeah…
Persian princess (breathy pause): I guess I just really want to work for MTV.

Santana Row
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Demitra

Hipster on cell: And then she started talking about trouser gravy…

Mesa College
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Tish

Girl #1: Sometimes I judge you silently in my head.
Girl #2: Yeah, everyone does that. I think people should start saying what they're really thinking. We should all have running monologues about what's going through our heads.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. Like, this one time, me and my friend….
Girl #1: I think you're a bitch.

Starbucks
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Robert

Drunk girl: You cough up a ring, and I'll cough up my vagina.

Sacramento, California

Volunteer #1: We can't be selling this music, it's devil worship.
Volunteer #2: Well, that's the ACLU. The ACLU ought to be abolished. They're why there's all this stuff around.
Customer: Why are you getting rid of that? Don't you think people ought to be able to choose for themselves?
Volunteer #2: Harry Potter is a witch!
Customer: I think we ought to get rid of Bush and Cheney, put them in jail–they're mass murderers!
Volunteers #1 & #2: (silence)

Joshua Tree Thrift Shop
California

Overheard by: Celeste Mann

Mom to toddler in stroller: What was your favorite part of the circus?
Toddler in stroller: The elephants pooping!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Guy, carrying basket: It's just hard to know that I did so much for her, I did everything right in our marriage and now she is intentionally trying to hurt me.
Girl, pushing cart: Seriously? You did everything right?
Guy: Yes, I did.
Girl: Um, you slept with me.
Guy: Yeah, but that was a long time ago and I didn't do it to hurt her.

Trader Joe's
Hillcrest, California

Professor: So, to calculate the unemployment rate, we whack off…

Intro to Macroeconomics Class
USC, California

(after the rain)
Sorostitute #1, just arriving at her car: Oh my god, someone totally washed my car!
Sorostitute #2: No way! Who do you think it was?
Sorostitute #1: I don't know, but that is so awesome.

Parking Lot, Cal Poly Dorm
San Luis Obispo, California

Cali MBA #1: The television news out here sucks.
Cali MBA #2: Yeah…and they're ugly.

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