Girl #1: So really Edward doesn't like anal?
Girl #2: Yeah, he doesn't even like anal.
Girl #1: Did you just ask him? Or did that just come up?
Girl #2: You know what? I don't even remember…I was drunk. I must've asked.
Petco Park
San Diego, California
Teenage girl: I could say “penis penis penis penis penis” all day and not feel weird about it.
Chino, California
Professor to 20-something assistants, about sighting them at a bar: So, I thought I saw you the other night, but I wasn't sure because I thought that all you do is type.
UC Merced
Merced, California
Overheard by: Seriously?
Gay professor: Yeah, so running through these questions should go a little more smoothly this time around. I looked around for what was causing it to go so slow last time, and I realized that there are disadvantages to letting your 14-year-old take your laptop to Tahoe for the weekend. I mean, really–how much lesbian porn can three teenage boys download? (class laughs) So, uh. If anything pops up, you know who to blame. I mean, it certainly isn't my secret fetish.
San Francisco State University, California
Overheard by: It isn't mine, either.
Woman on library's computer to son: Get away from the books and sign up for a computer. That's the only way you're goin' to learn!
Hawthorne Library
Hawthorne, California
Overheard by: Scott A. Willis
Captain, over intercom, after lights go out: You are getting veeeery sleeeeeepy… You do not want peaaanuts… You do not want soooodaaa… You just want to sleeeep until we laaaaand.
Southwest Airlines Flight over California
Overheard by: Andrew
20-something #1: So I saw the earrings on his nightstand and I took them.
20-something #2: What? You really took them? Why?
20-something #1: Because she took two of his t-shirts when she left the other night, and left her earrings behind so she would have an excuse to see him again! It's like Fatal Attraction!
20-something #2: But you took her earrings, and still spent the night with him after she did! What the hell? (pause) Are those them?
20-something #1: Yeah.
20-something #2: They're cute.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A Cheek
College dude to girl: Yeah, so they tagged my penis…
UC Irvine
Irvine, California
Five-year-old boy sitting in a shopping cart: Gi-ant vul-va! Gi-ant vul-va!
Mommy: Here's a chocolate truffle.
Whole Foods
Santa Monica, California
Girl to friend: He said that I was his new BFF. “Best fuck forever”! I said that was sweet, and gave him a little kiss.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: TrixChix
