Teen daughter: You’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Teen daughter: No, you’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Granny, with English accent: What’s a dickwad?
Teen daughter: It’s a pile of jism, Granny.
Dad: Okay, family meeting right now!
On the subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: jezebel
Cashier: Do you want a bag for those?
Man buying condoms: No, I want to wear them home.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: C
Friend #1: God! Old people get so pissy when they don't get their obituaries on time.
Friend #2: Why?
Friend #1: Because they want to know which of their friends has died that week.
Friend #2: Oh, so it's like Facebook for the elderly!
Memorial Hospital
Sudbury
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Dani
Man: … With my wife.
Woman: Oh, you’re married?
Man: Yeah, and I have a four-month-old baby girl.
Woman: What’s her name?
Man: Widget.
Woman: Oh, that’s cute.
Subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick B
(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren't really grabbing her boobs. That's just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.
Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia
Woman to friend: He didn't know what to do with his chicken, so he stuffed it in his pants.
Stanley Park
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: shiz
Professor: Even my own mother tells people I’m a drug dealer.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Fancy girl #1: Oh my god, getting hit by a car is totally my favorite activity.
Fancy girl #2: Really? Mine is shopping.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/19/dammit-why-do-we-always-argue-about-what-to-do/
Overheard by:
