Chicks

High maintenance chick #1: You know, the French quarter at Disney is so much better than this.
High maintenance chick #2: Yeah, right, huh? This place is so dirty!

French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: yeah, that big storm and all…

Drunk chick: Haha, you're a cheeky queen.
Drunk queer: Don't call me a cheeky queen! I'm a dirty bitch!

Provincetown, Massachusetts

Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.

Boston, Massachusetts

Skinny chick with cigarette on bike to friend she just met up with: Hey! Guess how I got here so fast?
Friend: How?
Skinny chick, enthusiastically: I drink a tonic of strychnine and brandy! Every day!

Mt. Pleasant
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Lance Wriststrong

High school teacher: So they employed guerrilla warfare.
Chick: Wait, seriously? They sent gorillas out into the jungle? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Vienna, Virginia

20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.

San Antonio, Texas

Chick to makeup artist: I want you to make me look like someone who just lost their virginity.

MAC Store
Toronto
Canadia

Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!

Bar
Nebraska

Overheard by: allie

20-something chick, gravely: I'm having severe intrusive thoughts about buying a medium popcorn.
Friend: So go buy a popcorn.
20-something chick, gravely: No, you don't get it. I'm serious.

Vancouver
Canadia

Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!

Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi