Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.
Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: ..Really?
Philosophy professor: A crisp cravat always gets me hot.
Wesleyan University
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: ..Really?
Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we’re here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.
Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois
Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Katie F
Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.
Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)
Laughing girl: So I was smelling his dirty socks and stuff…
Friends: What?!
Acadia University
Wolfville, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: wondering why…
Plus-size girl looking at maternity shirt: Oh, this is cute! (pause) It will hide my fat rolls!
JC Penney
Wichita, Kansas
Dude: That guy totally has a gun.
Chick (offended): Just because he has sunglasses doesn't mean he has a gun!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Guy to ex-wife (about drunkenness): Yeah, the best time was at that wedding when you started drinking down those cinnamon things, and flashed that guy.
Oakland, Oregon
Overheard by: Erin
Mother to daughter, regarding t-shirts: We need to get you a big one ’cause your boobs are growing way too fast.
Flat-chested daughter: Yeah, I know.
Hollywood Tower of Terror Shop
Disneyland, California
