Colleges & Universities

Girl walking through campus: I can't believe you, I'm sitting in my living room in nothing but a towel, with mascara streaming down my face and you don't even care!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: You sit on a throne of lies

Girl #1: I was watching tv last night, and this girl was prostituting herself to pay for med school…
Girl #2: That is such a good idea!

UC Berkeley, California

College guy #1: I think racism is just really bad OCD!
College guy #2: Haha, yeah!

University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.

Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Emily

Lecturer: If I’d given you gin instead of phonology, no doubt you’d all be sitting closer together.

Manchester University
UK

Overheard by: Ferdinand

College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!

University of Rochester
Rochester, New York

Guy to friend: And then she said, “I am not even half the man she used to be.”

Oxford
England

Overheard by: Well, she WAS born in Germany

College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.

College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania

Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine… is a more quiet desperation.

University of Idaho
Idaho

Overheard by: Funnygirl

Library worker #1: Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: … What?
Library worker #1: The envelope. Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Library worker #1: Great, because after last night, I am totally out of saliva.

Main Library, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio