Girl #1: So when is that thing you guys are doing?
Girl #2: Oh my god! You have to go! We're all going to get naked and walk around campus all day.
Girl #1: I honestly would, but I have tattoos in some really unconventional places.
Girl #2: Oh, I understand totally.
Chem Lab, William and Mary
Williamsburg, Virginia
Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Girl on cell: So I said, ‘If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.’
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Frat boy: That's all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn't speak a fuckin' *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?
Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Tutor: So what are some things you associate with lemons?
Student #1: Yellow!
Student #2: Energy!
Student #3: Gin-an-tonic!
Tutor: What? Genitalia? Who said genitalia?
Massey University
Wellington
New Zealand
Crazy English professor: Now, Herrick — his poems are like eggs… I used to have an ostrich egg… I knew the ostrich, too… Not that it makes any difference.
Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: poetrywhat?
Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!
Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio
Overheard by: Alex
Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test
Art student: He told me he really relates to my organs.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Librarian: Hello, Justin. I'd shake hands with you but my hands are very sticky.
Sacred Heart University
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jesse
