Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…
Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.
Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
Overheard by: Chelsea
College professor: Are you mocking my forest? My forest could kick your forest's butt any day. Bring your forest on!
(later)
College professor: I can see my forest from the window in my office. Do you have an office you can see your forest from?
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Student #1: Hey, how was your Easter?
Student #2: I'm Jewish, but thank you!
Paul Smith's College
New York
Overheard by: agnostic librarian
College chick #1: Where are we going?
College chick #2: I think he just draws stuff and has freaky sex…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me — where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you’re good, it’s open all night.
Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: A.J.S.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Overheard by: Jake
Girl #1: Did you have to take a test in high school to prove that you weren't retarded?
Girl #2: Uh, no.
Girl #1: Oh…I did.
Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: JSW
