Professor: My job is pretty sweet. All I have to do is show up and talk about something I'm interested in. How sweet is that? It would be even better if I didn't hate all of you.
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Professor: My job is pretty sweet. All I have to do is show up and talk about something I'm interested in. How sweet is that? It would be even better if I didn't hate all of you.
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Skinny brunette: I hate her! I hate her so much!
Fat chick: Why? What did she do this time?
Skinny brunette: It's just the same stuff. She hangs her thongs on the wall, and they keep multiplying. Plus, she leaves the window opened.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Sorority girl #1: That whore stole my coach bag!
Sorority girl #2: Did you call her out on it?
Sorority girl #1: Well, no, it wasn't actually mine yet, but I told her that I was going to get that one like a week ago, and now she's carrying it. (walks past coach girl, who has iPod headphones in one ear, phone up to other ear) Whore!
Central Michigan University
Overheard by: Central Girl
Teacher: Okay, so get out your books and start doing the exercises.
Student: Can I borrow your book?
Teacher: You didn't bring your books? Man…you guys are such losers.
Philadelphia University, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Student
English professor, going over punctuation: We can fix this sentence by putting a comma here… and here… and here. See? Comma, comma, comma. [Breaks into song.] Comma-comma-comma-comma-comma chameleeeooon!
Community College
Palm Bay, Florida
Sorostitute: You know how I got my coke whore status?
Roommate: Ummm, how?
Sorostitute: I snorted a line off of Jared’s penis with a hundred dollar bill.
Roommate: Wow.
Sorostitute: That’s not that bad, is it?
Dinning hall, Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Professor: Like, for example, my wife loves Everybody Loves Raymond. I think it's…well, I think it's the death of all art.
Catholic University of America
Washington, DC
Tutor: Wikipedia is not homework!
University of Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kiri
Guy walking by the main library: … And we could have, like, a Moroccan sex room, with pillows and draperies!
Male friend: Right on!
University of Toronto
Canadia
Professor: This assignment is worth 20 points, but doing it can only earn you up to 18. The only way to get the last two points is to dress up.
Exasperated student: As what?!
Eastern Michigan University
