Spastic five-year old: Medicate me, daddy! Medicate me! Medicate me!
University Village
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jackie
Spastic five-year old: Medicate me, daddy! Medicate me! Medicate me!
University Village
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jackie
Guy: … So I was like, ‘Dude, just this time, you’re not allowed to suck your own dick,’ and he says,’Dude, I totally won’t.’ So I say to him, ‘Man, you’re doing it right now.’
University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
International Relations professor: If I was to go to San Diego, or any city I’ve never been to, give me 24 hours and I could tell you what, where, by whom, and how much the drugs are sold for… [Long pause] And, depending on the drug, perhaps even the quality.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/whered-you-get-your-phd-cheech-drug.html
Chick: No, if I take a shit I get the dish soap.
Guy: [nods understandingly].
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Stoner guy: So he turned around and there were aliens in the back seat. Then he said, “Yay! Now we can have a hoe down!”
Western Kentucky University
Psychology professor, speaking of horrible deaths in the French Revolution: People are terrible…they should have never been invented.
Rutgers University
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Person
Professor walking through the hall: Well I guess I’d have to be spanked then.
Asian grad student: That’s why they’re called “accidents”!
University of Illinois
Ditz #1: …and then I was like, “Why did I fail spring semester, sir?” and then he was like, “You asked me if The Odyssey was an actual event, and stated that it was in every one of your papers on the subject, even after I told you it wasn't.”
Ditz #2: Wait, it wasn't?
Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois
Professor: I'm still on the search for a contortionist, by the way.
Student #1: Aren't all contortionists like really young?
Professor: Are they?
Student #2: Yeah, I'm pretty sure the oldest contortionist is like, 15. Their flexibility has something to do with their age.
Professor: Well, what good would an underage contortionist be?
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: an incredibly amused student
Professor: [the guest speaker] apologized for being so hard on you guys. Although she was kinda drunk when she did…
Student: That kinda compromises her honor.
Professor: Oh, trust me, her honor was compromised long before that.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
