Jock: Dude, I went to our professor's office yesterday, and you know what? She has a giant bottle of lube just sitting there on her desk!
(pause)
Friend: You jackass! That's hand sanitizer on her desk, not lube!
University of Colorado
Overheard by: I keep the lube in the drawer
Professor: So, there seems to be the notion that a girl who dresses like a slut is asking for it.
Male student: Now, I do not dabble in sluts myself, but I have plenty of friends who do.
Professor: I think we’re done for the day.
Sociology class, University of Colorado
Colorado
Freshman, loudly walking through dorm lobby: It wasn't an STD! …just, like, a germ-filled cesspool…
CSU
Fort Collins, Colorado
Tall goth girl to rotund, geeky friend: She’s a fat black goth! Kinda like if you, me, and Bill Cosby joined forces.
Denver, Colorado
Suit walking with lady suit: Well, for that my friend went to this guy downtown and really liked him, but, um, just don’t expect flowers after.
Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Guy #1: I am in love with her, do you know how I know that?
Guy #2: Because she reminds you of your mom?
Guy #1: Dude, gross! (pause) She does remind me of my sister a bit.
Devner, Colorado
20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.
Colorado
Geeky girl: You know, I’ve still got my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s library card.
Goth friend: …We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
12-year-old: She's such a slut. She went on a date alone with a boy!
Mother: I don't believe that.
12-year-old: It's true! I was there!
Denver, Colorado
