Colorado

Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He's non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.

Denver, Colorado

Pilot over PA, after taxiing to the gate for ten minutes: Let me know if you guys see something that looks like an airport.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: they're not kidding about being the country's biggest airport

Mother to screaming child: Look, if it were up to me, you could watch all the porn you want.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Loud drunk guy on bus: You're from Oklahoma? Oklahoma has the best cottage cheese in the world!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: I would have believed Wisconsin…

Girl in car, while on cell phone: I was coughing because I was eating a cookie while trying to have sex!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Squid

Suit #1, referring to scar on suit #2's throat: What happened to you?
Suit #2: My daughter is batshit. What of it?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Goth girl getting stitches: When I want a tasty man snack, I have me a PB&J!

Skyridge Hospital ER
Denver, Colorado

Ranting idiot: I mean, what the fuck? We live in the United States. It is 2006. There is no excuse for having fucking rotten teeth. I don’t care if she is your sister — brush your fucking teeth!

Town Hall Café
Empire, Colorado

Overheard by: try 2007 – TK

Goth girl wearing blue beehive wig: So Morgan Freeman, a college professor, and a hot guy walk into a ska club.
Friend: And?
Goth girl: Oh, there's no punchline, that actually happened.

Denver, Colorado