Drunk girl: I thought the first time I had sex it would be like milking a cow. You know: squirt, squirt, squirt… a little at a time.
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Drunk girl: I thought the first time I had sex it would be like milking a cow. You know: squirt, squirt, squirt… a little at a time.
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Guy: Glitter is like the herpes of craft! It just gets everywhere!
Michael's Arts and Crafts
Merced, California
Teen princess to another, in changing room: Oh my god, she's so trashy. Who would ask their friends to a a pole-dancing class there? The pole dancing studios I go to in the city are like sexy and hot. But at that one, I got carpet burn.
Changing Rooms
Sydney
Australia
Employee #1: It's been such a slow day. I feel like I've been here forever.
Employee #2: I know, right?
Employee #1: How about you? Today been slow for you too?
Employee #3: Nope. I discovered time travel.
Hardware Store
Agoura Hills, California
Psych class guy: Dolphins are the second smartest animal.
Psych class girl: What's the smartest?
Psych class guy: Humans.
Psych class girl: Wait, humans are animals?
Psych class guy: Yep.
Psych class girl: Really?
Psych class guy: For real.
Hamilton
Canadia
Overheard by: Jayme
NYU guy in audience during group skits: PBR doesn't taste as good on a Sunday morning as it did last night at the party.
NYU girl in audience during group skits: Yeah, I'm like, “someone might as well just piss in my mouth instead.”
Rock Hill, New York
Overheard by: I think I'll still go with the PBR
Girl to friend: And then, all of a sudden, everything became totally clear. It was like the clouds parted and I just knew. I knew where my purse was.
Columbia, Missouri
Girl #1: You know every time I see Tyler Perry I think about the white Tyler Perry.
Girl #2: That's Steven Perry from Aerosmith.
Girl #3: That's Steven Tyler.
Girl #1: Well, I'm talking about the Tyler Perry from Friends.
Girl #4: That's Mathew Perry!
Cancun
Mexico
Tourist: It's like Times Square with less fat people!
Piccadilly Circus
London
England
Overheard by: Stuart
Cashier: I never noticed before, but you look like a meerkat.
Customer: Is that another Pokemon?
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
