Tiny black girl: And then I had to have Buckley's, and you know what? It tastes exactly like jizz.
Asian girl, perplexed: You've had Buckley's?


Dude #1, seeing sign reading “cum laude”: Look at that sign: cum load!
Dude #2: I was just going to say that!


Fun date #1: I hate it when guys want to cum on your face every time.
Fun date #2: Yeah, it gets in your eyes.
Fun date #1: And in your hair.
Fun date #3: Once in a while is okay, but not every time.

Outside Coffee Shop
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: browny

Director to actress playing Johanna in Sweeney Todd: I just want to see a little spunk on your face.

Reno, Nevada

Overheard by: CarvingMyNiche

Girlfriend: How would you feel if I told you I was pregnant?
Boyfriend: Are you pregnant? Because if you are, I'm cumin' in you.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Guy: Do you know what “felching” is?
Girl: No… Is it tasty?

New Jersey

Preppy girl #1: So I had it all over me, it was on my hands and my face…
Preppy girl #2: Oh my god! Did you throw up?

San Luis Obispo, California

Biology teacher to uninterested students: Sperm doesn't just crawl along the floor.


Girl drinking outside: It's just, like, I pay rent to live here, I don't want his semen and her little vagina juices everywhere!
Guy drinking outside: I don't think those guys walking by wanted to hear that.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Guy walking by

Crazy drunk lady, whispering: I think I got asbestos on my hands. (in louder voice) Or maybe it's sperm! Heeheeheeheeheehee!


Overheard by: EdgingAwayFromHer