Customer pointing to guacamole: Can you put some of that Guatemala on it?
Chipotle
Washington, DC
Customer pointing to guacamole: Can you put some of that Guatemala on it?
Chipotle
Washington, DC
Frazzled female customer: Oh, you have to change my last name on the account, too. I got divorced…
Sales assistant: Congratulations!
Verizon Wireless
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: i just want my phone upgrade
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Male customer: Do you have any more of those flying penises?
New Hope, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wait…whaaaat?!
Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?
Utah
Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?
Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ho Lexington III
Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.
Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Mallory
Woman at counter: [Mumbling.]Clerk: No, we don’t carry weapons here.
Hallmark Store
St. Joseph, Michigan
Overheard by: but if you try the precious moments store…
Gay dressing room associate: Did you find everything alright today?
Attractive female shopper: Everything except a pair of pants.
Gay dressing room associate: We'll just have to find you a pair, then.
Attractive female shopper: No, that's alright. The pants here never fit me correctly.
Gay dressing room associate: Well, I'll see if I can't fit you in my pants.
Attractive female shopper: Wait… What?
Banana Republic
Marin, California
