But Take This Cream, to Be on the Safe Side

Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!

Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on April 27, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Ohio, Questions

Black on Black Crime’s Hidden Nuances

Fat black woman on cell: Black women are better than white women, because you can beat the shit out of them and the bruises won’t be visible!

BART train
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Gilatron

Posted on April 26, 2020
Black people, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Fat people, Race, Violence, Women

Or Breast Display Units

Manly hipster #1: She's been really into these half sweater type things lately.
Manly hipster #2: Yeah, they're called “shrugs”.

TOAD
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on April 25, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Clothes, Default, Hipsters, Massachusetts, Words

No Australian Is One Of Those

Maths teacher: Girls, what you need to do is try and think like a mathematician.
Student: Why, miss? We're not mathematicians.
Maths teacher: Yes, you are. Whenever you do maths, you're a mathematician.
Student: What about when we're in English class? Does that make us engleticians?

Australia

Posted on April 24, 2020
Advice, Australia, Default, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

The Kind They Blind You With

Girl #1: What’s Scientology?
Girl #2: Isn’t it like, you know, science?

Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: Dave

Posted on April 23, 2020
Australia, Default, Girls, Questions, Religion, Science, Stupidity, Words

They're Right Next the Megavitamins, Which Also Don't Work

Guy: I'm not going to stop and ask someone, “excuse me, where are your ray guns?”

CVS
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on April 23, 2020
Default, Games, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stores, Weirdness, Zombies

Ooo, What About an Intravenous Drip Filled with Cosmo?

Girl #1: I am so excited for the Sex and the City movie!
Girl #2: Me too! We should go out for drinks before the movie. Not too many cuz then we will have to take potty brakes during the movie and I don't want to miss anything!
Girl #1: Oh, good call, maybe we should wear diapers. I would totally wear a diaper for this movie!
Girl #2: Totally!

Peoria, Illinois

Posted on April 22, 2020
Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Illinois, Movies, Offers and requests, Pee, Stupidity

There's a Hand on My Boob As We Speak, and It's Fine!

Girl at cafeteria surrounded by other girls: I've been in a lot of situations where it may have looked like sexual harrassment, but I have just been able to learn to deal with it.

Mills College
Oakland, California

Posted on April 21, 2020
Default

I'm Beginning to Regret Letting You Steal Me from That Playground

Four-year old: But I want to go in there!
Frazzled mother: No! Let's go, we have to get home.
Four-year old (crying): You aren't the right mother for me!

Berlin
Germany

Posted on April 20, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Germany, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Wishes

Must Be Blowfish

NASA intern guy #1: I think your fish are gay… Like, 99 percent sure. Look, they’ve got vertical bars.
NASA intern guy #2: They so want each other.
NASA intern guy #1: They do. And it’s not unrequited. Look, they both have vertical bars!

NASA Ames Research Center
Silicon Valley, California

Posted on April 20, 2020
Animals, California, Coworkers, Default, Sexuality

Default