Coworker to another: If you want, you guys could come over to my house and hang out while I take a shower.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/457922641/you-read-my-mind.html
Overheard by: should I sit in the tub or the toilet
Coworker to another: If you want, you guys could come over to my house and hang out while I take a shower.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/457922641/you-read-my-mind.html
Overheard by: should I sit in the tub or the toilet
40-something suit to another: I should go see Santa, but I'm a couple decades too late. (pause) And if you go without a kid, they think you're weird or something.
LIRR Train Station
New York
Overheard by: BK
Girl telling friend about dream: So then I was lying on a bed of beef jerky and my dad came up and his armpit hair was all white and fuzzy and that's when I realized I was gonna die.
Park
California
BBW: You wouldn’t want to see me in pretzel-formation.
Skinny man: How would you know?
BBW: I mean it. You really wouldn’t want to see me in pretzel-formation. It’s not very pretty to watch. It gets stuck easily that way.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus…
Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Diana Mason
Guy: If you bang a girl unprotectedly, you have to keep banging her protectedly to make sure she doesn't start showing.
Allston, Massachusetts
Six-year-old boy: Mommy, my leg hair is growing a lot lately!
Mom: Yeah, I noticed…
Six-year-old: But I haven't grown my facial hair yet.
Mom: It'll probably happen pretty soon.
Six-year-old: I think I'll get my facial hair when I'm like 9 or 10.
Mom: Unfortunately, that sounds about right. God, you are going to be so stinky!
Six-year-old, delightedly: Yes, I will be!
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Le mere
Professor: Nobody thinks they're eating brains!
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Mallory
Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.
Filene's Basement
Washington, DC
Teen boy: You know, I really appreciate you complimenting my baseball skills, but I really don’t appreciate you complimenting my boxer choices.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/305634992/but-theyre-just-so-nice.html
Overheard by: just trying to get to class…
