Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!
YMCA
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Muffin
Woman on cell: I know! I’m going to testify in court tomorrow for him so he doesn’t go to jail for ten years. The least he can do is give me ride home!
Red line metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Mary
Large black man to smaller black man: I'm tellin' ya- you'll feel a lot better if you stop tryin' to eat that dog!
Austin, Texas
Brother: Where's the baby?
Sister: Over there. (gestures to crazy 4-5 year old child in jungle gym)
Brother: I'm sorry, but every time my nephew goes insane I want to clothesline him.
Sister: I don't think you're quite ready for fatherhood yet.
Playground
Poway, California
Overheard by: Jail, Anyone?
20-something female: He comes back Sunday. Oh! And Joe is giving me free birth control!
Orlando, Florida
Father: Sweetie, your affection for the dog is causing you to hallucinate.
Empress Pavillion
Chinatown, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Guy: So, what do you do?
Woman: Well, I’m actually a homemaker.
Guy: … Oh! So you’re, like, in construction? That’s cool.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/well_the_hours_are_probably_si.html
Overheard by: DRB
Pilot to passengers: Everyone, please make sure your seatbelts are fastened. I'm gonna fly this plane like I stole it.
Flight from Nashville, Tennessee
Middle school boy: They could solve world hunger if they just kept cloning lots of sheep.
Friend: Aren't sheep like, tofu?
Radnor, Pennsylvania
