Girl to friend: Where have you been? I haven't seen you for almost nine months!
Friend: I've been in Mexico.
Girl: Why?
Friend: Think about it…
Westwood, California
Girl to friend: Where have you been? I haven't seen you for almost nine months!
Friend: I've been in Mexico.
Girl: Why?
Friend: Think about it…
Westwood, California
College girl: Can I have one ticket for the midnight train, going anywhere?
Ticket vendor: (blank stare)
College girl: Not so funny out loud as it is in my head, huh? One ticket to Rome, please!
Amtrak Station
Buffalo-Depew, New York
Girl reporting on date the night before: So I was good and kept my clothes on and got home at 10 am.
Guy: Wait, wait! 10 am? Don't you mean 10 pm?
Girl: Oh yeah! Sorry, force of habit!
Brunswick
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Ed Klein
Poetry girl: I've been so depressed all weekend.
Poetry guy: Well, why have you been so depressed?
Poetry girl: I wrote this poem about divorce, so I was thinking about divorce all weekend, and it just made me so depressed.
(long pause)
Poetry girl, loudly: Can you tell me about the human condition? I mean, can you really tell me about the human condition?
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
Overheard by: The Bu
American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Girl #1: Shit, I just put that chip in my mouth and the corners poked me hella hard.
Girl #2: Learn how to chew, you fucking orangutan!
Fresno, California
Overheard by: rofl
Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?
School Classroom
Australia
Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….
Hippie teenage girl: He's such a screaming campy queer, I thought he was gay–but he's not! At least, he doesn't seem gay when he's fucking you. He does all the rest of the time, though.
Hither Green
London
England
Overheard by: Jess
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I’m so glad you two aren’t black! Then I’d have to put all those little beads in your hair and–well I’m just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Earnest-looking man: But those are my cheese knives!
Disapproving TSA agent: (shakes head)
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Casual Passerby
