…Just So You Know What You're in For

Mother to boyfriend, about young son: So, I thought he had one of my hair ties in his mouth, but he actually had a salamander…

Zoo
Oakland, California

Posted on July 23, 2015
Default

…Though I Personally Prefer “Hoo-Hoo Kazoo.”

Girl: I want a whistle!
Guy: You already have a whistle.
Girl: But that's a rape whistle, not a wiener whistle… Well, I guess it's kind of a wiener whistle!

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on July 23, 2015
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But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma

Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don’t worry, girl, I am listening to yo’ hideous self!

Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: kerblammerz

Posted on July 23, 2015
Default, Employees, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Kansas, Money, On the phone, Stores

From Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Giving Head

Girl #1: Well, you know she gave that guy a blow job when three other people were in the room. Someone was bound to find out.
Girl #2: I’ve never even done it in front of people.
Girl #1: Me either, I’m not that slutty.
Younger girl with them: Oh, guess just me then?
Girl #1: You gave someone a blowjob with people watching?!
Younger girl: Uh, yeah. Back when I was 15 and drunk.
Girl #1: I’m your aunt: should you really have told me that, McSlutty?

Park
San Diego, California

Posted on July 22, 2015
Age and ageing, BJs, California, Default, Drinking & drunks, Family, Family ties, Girls, Insults, Memory lane, Names, Weirdness

The High School Musical Outtakes Were Somewhat Shocking

Guy: Why were you guys talking about my penis?
Girl: We weren't.
Guy: Yes you were! I heard you mention it!
Girl: Zach! The world doesn't revolve around you and your penis!

Hagley Park
Christchurch
New Zealand

Posted on July 22, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Lies, New Zealand, Penis, Questions

It’s Like How Some People Only Smoke When They Drink

Gentleman: See, this is the thing — I have a couple of drinks, and then I think, ‘Hmmm… Spiro’s cock up my arse…’

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/243261.html

Posted on July 22, 2015
Australia, Backdoor, Default, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Overheard in Melbourne's Journal

And It's His Last Term

Midwestern American: Well, we never did find out if he was a racist or not, but there's not a whole lot left of him to find out now.

London
England

Overheard by: doe

Posted on July 22, 2015
Death & dying, Default, England, Race, Tourists

Your Editors Are Still Giggling about “Beaverton”

Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!

Beaverton, Oregon